Epitaph

Such glorious youth, wasted.
Love poured forth from you,
But did it evade you?
Your passing evokes emotions, visceral, raw.


I dare not do the same, though thoughts arise.
Those close to me, I'm not ready to depart.
Our ships sail rocky seas, as of late.
They're out of sight, from drenching rains.


Alas, I love them so.
My dream is to calm our waters,
To sail together again, as before.
But I am not the one likely to expire.


It's not too late, yet.
Though time passes ever swiftly.
My own youth, I've wasted,
Playing Hide & Seek with Fate.


I must act, repair our leaking hulls.
For one knows not when life will be blown out.
These days are sullen, filled with grief,
But things as these never fail to make one think.


For Joey Braun, whose life brought joy to others.


God rest his soul.

Guilt of the Survivor

I thought of you again.
More frequent, as of late.
I've felt your eyes,
But I don't see you.


I lie down in the rain.
Get soaked by your tears.
Why do you cry?
Now you can fly...


I felt your pain.
I understood.
It hurts to not feel loved.
I've been there.


You could've told me.
Tried to hold me.
I would've listened.
I would've cared.


But, it's done now,
And I miss you.
Remember me.
Please.

If Only

Written for a man to mail his significant other while in jail for St. Valentine's Day:


If only I could stretch my hand through time,
And stop myself from acting so unwise,
I'd never have to say such sad goodbyes,
Or leave your stunning beauty for such grime.
I'd lie with you this Saint's Day, so sublime.
And lose myself within your sweet green eyes.
You're my blond angel who I'll ever prize.
To lose you, dear, would be a mortal crime.


And, so, I vow to be with you next year.
To make you smile, be your teddy bear.
I long for us to be together, free,
To kiss your luscious lips, to have you near.
Such wond'rous times and mem'ries we will share.
If only I have you and you have me.

The Outcast's Out-lash

These feral masochistic trysts I hold,
Are born of pensive loathing and disdain.
For I am always filled with dismal pain,
From living life in discord with The Fold.
I find the hearts of men jejune and cold.
Their folly is the reason for their bane,
They glorify their waste, yet I'm insane?
How dare those fools begin to be so bold!


I'll make them bleed, succumb to languor yet.
They'll cry out while they writhe in agony.
But that won't make their hearts less dim or dull.
Appeasing of my fury only met.
The true solution I have yet to see.
This quandary forever I will mull. 

Reflective Requiem

Two lovers riven swiftly by the times.
Their hearts misunderstood by ethos raw.
A paradigm held fierce, enforced as law,
Destroyed these youths while brightened by their primes.
Their rendezvous', denounced as heinous crimes,
Are why they languished under purist maw.
The killings justified by ardent awe,
Are reason for my angered, mournful rhymes.


Their deaths, of course, do not need be in vain,
For times have changed since days of martyrs' past.
Let's spread our revolution through the earth,
In memory of those unjustly slain.
The splendor of our efforts near at last!
We have good reason to indulge in mirth.

A Cry to Destiny

Oh sweet and sultry reverie of love.
Why are you always fleeting, scarce, and sham?
I seek your virile throes with all I am.
Will you descend with guile from above?
And melt my visc'ral freeze as if a glove?
For as a man, I'm but a meager lamb,
Who does not ask for fortune, wealth, or glam.
Oh Destiny, please give this soul a shove.


It's unadulterated love I seek.
I tend to harbor something quite effete.
This grand abyss is cause for acrid pains,
Which leave a sullen dream-scape, cold and bleak.
Until my one true love I fin'lly meet,
I shall resign to melancholy strains.

Battle Cry of "Deviants" - For Coming Out Day 2010

No longer will we be ignored! Rejoice!
Our angered hearts rebelled with flagrancy!
Their stupor, now revealed, is plain to see,
For we oppressed have finally gained our voice.
They wrote us off and said it was a choice.
With zeal they vilified all those like me.
But, soon the time will come where we'll be free!
No longer will we be ignored! Rejoice!


The crying out of millions live and dead,
Will shatter the foundations of their lies.
We're at the dawn of victory. Hold fast!
Let's leave the ign'rant masses in our stead!
So what if girls like girls and guys like guys?
The end of prejudice is nigh at last!

Liberation

A mesmerizing sight, to say the least,

To see this boy, the archetype of free,

With lissom grace jump from within the tree,

Into the spring with sun hung far from East.

Although his nineteen years give eyes a feast,

His pure abandon is what moves in me.

For years I've been without the youth I see,

And now I think it's time I freed the beast.

I shed my clothes and climb onto the bough.

And left my inhibition on the ground.

He whooped and holler as I took my dive,

And shook my fears, although I don't know how.

Today it's love and freedom that I've found.

My god, it feels so great to be alive.

Mortal Awe

Such splendor o'er my eyes do I now see,
And yet this burning love I've yet to speak.
With each and every pass my legs go weak.
I long to know what lies above the knee.
This secret that I keep longs to be free.
But without courage I am rather meek.
I dream of locking lips, to touch your cheek,
I lose myself within the fantasy.


This flound'ring love will make my heart infarct.
And yet I'll ever guard it, come what may.
You are the spur unto my fleeting breath.
Forever, in your name, my heart is marked.
I can't withstand this fire one more day.
Alas, I take it with me unto death.

Paternal Reverie

Take heed in knowing you are free, my child!
Run fast and far, and see the world!
For, now, we triumph. For, now, we bask in liberty.
Let the wind take you, and spirit yourself home!
Oh, my child, with wings of angels and eyes of fire.
Your passion is lurid and spreading!
Speak love with your eyes and swim through the heavens!
My chains are not yours, oh Sparrow, oh Dove!
And freedom becomes you, sweet son of mine.
Now, go, and live like I never could.
Be a fire in dark places where hope is not known.
Darling, oh darling. My life for yours.

Our Heartbeats & Nature's Melody

Do you remember that day beneath our tree?
Was it just me, or did things go quiet?
Everything kept moving, in a way.
All we could hear was the music of the world.
The wind in the trees and grasses.
Was it just me, or were our hearts playing the loudest?

Tomorrow

Tomorrow
is where
I put things
all too often
when Motivation
escapes me.
I should find it.
I'll do it
tomorrow.

Daydreamer

I long for your embrace
That sends me to faraway lands
Brings me comfort
And dips me into ecstasy.
As I eat my ham & cheese,
As I earn my keep,
As I drive from A to B,
I think of you.
Oh, Bed...

False Expectations

My mind swallows
Your darkness
Like a cookie
Without milk
Left out for days
Visited by flies
And stale
And I bit down
Thinking it'd be fresh.

For Friends

We walked for hours through the night. The back-roads of our hometown, the canvas upon which our relationship was painted. I've never been a good painter, but with you by my side we made art. ~~ For J.P.


Such vivacity! Such luminous colors! Your soul brightens even the darkest of shadows. Your unfailing love carries me when I am weak. Your heart sends celestial rhythms our spirits dance to. God bless this Artist/Angel. ~~ For M.B.


Misunderstood Chameleon, show your true skin. Underneath it all, a paradox, dichotomy. Half love. Half hate. Half selfish. Half selfless. Who are you today? I'll always love you anyway. ~~ For Q.G.


My dear Jonquil, so passionate. You carry quite a spark with your tender heart. Understanding, compassionate. So far away, yet I ever feel your warmth. Lead me to you, beloved Piper. ~~ For L.F.


You aching soul. Must you torment yourself after all that's transpired? Your pain is vivid. You try to gain freedom through sadomasochism. Alas, your chains hold strong. Oh, Misery, you do love company. ~~ For E.L.


Things are strained, I know. It doesn't help that I've left again. I hope he loves you. He better know he doesn't deserve you. I didn't. I still don't. Will I ever stop caring for you? I miss you... ~~ For A.S.


Oh, Pookie, so protective. You guard me from myself, my worst enemy. Devoted. Industrious. A sister and friend. No matter the shock-wave, no matter the drama, you're in my corner. I can't thank you enough. ~~ For S.B.

Ode to Donnie

Take a ride on the somnambulance.
Frank can take you anywhere.
Burn the house down, split the skull.
The engine reaps its fare.

Swimming in the Oblivion of Man

Written during a very dark time in my life:


Find me in the mirror that I've swam in for so long, because I'm drowning in myself; my thoughts, taking me deeper, deeper, deeper; closer to the surface of oblivion that calls my name with every heartbeat, the grave these hands of mine have been digging since my eyes opened to the world and all its virtue, its pain, its wind which freezes the broken hearts of wounded soldiers of our age who fight everyday for a lost cause we call freedom, only to take a bullet from and for a thankless world who love their chains more than anything they can ever dream of, any ideal conjured by so-called "great thinkers" whose only achievement has been showing us what we're missing and how we're failing, faster, faster, faster than before, spinning, twirling, whirling towards our own oblivion, our own hell that we build with our own lonely words, our own lonely thoughts, actions, fantasies which people pay to see everyday, sometimes with their lives, which may be the best thing that ever happens to them because it frees them all, forever, amen.